Tuesday, February 3, 2009

what's next...?

it's February
my best way to welcome February 2009
is by getting sick...
yupe...on sat: i was sneezing like crazy in the library...i blew my nose so much that i think it was nump...haha

on sun: went to church...in the middle of sermon...i was floating...my mind was...
i think i had a fever then...i wasn't sure...i managed to get home and just stared at the TV...before i realized...i think i was burning...>< haha!! went to bed early

on mon: took a day off...my fever was gone...(thank God!) went to see the doctor...thankfully it was just a flu not influenza... went home...and slept more...

today: back to work and going to the elementary school later...hopefully i can handle the hyper kids~ God, give me strength!

referring back to the title: what's next...?

i rarely share about personal PERSONAL thing on my blog but i want prayers for this so here...

i planned to finish my current job at the end of july and apply for grad school in japan
in japan...i need to go through an entrance exam for grad school which is around September
i thought i will be prepared for it if i start studying now...
i did some research and actually started to study since the beginning of January
however, i slowly realized that there are a lot of materials and that they are all in japanese double/triple the difficulty of it.
and i made contact with a professor and he gave me some very practical advise
which let me think that even if i try to study the best from now on...i would be only 50% ready by September.
i need more time..1) looking for a grad school that really fits me 2) planning and writing my research plan 3) studying

so...i was thinking...maybe i should extend my contract for one more year and use this year wisely to prepare for this entrance exam...

should i? should i not?

and the more i think...the more i wonder:
is staying in japan/ going to grad school in japan/ becoming a counselor in japan really where God wants me to be?

hmmmmmmm.... to be honest...i really don't see anything other than continuing my education in japan...i love Canada...but my passion is in japan...
so...does this passion mean something?

seeking God's will in my life...it's not easy and it doesn't come fast

but i have to reply my work about extending my contract or not by Feb 10.

ultimately, what i need to do is put down my plan and allow God's plan to work in my life, right?

so...my dear friends, if you can, please remember me in your prayers~

thanks so much!!

i might sound desperated...(i am...) but God is still good and faithful!
i can't wait to go see the lovely kids in 30 mins~
hopefully i won't give them my cold! haha!


Angel said...

Hi~~~ Long time no see!
I had the exact same worry two years ago (wow! how quickly time passed!) when I was applying to grad school. What I suggest is, "don't do something that you will regret about it in the future". Also "do what you want when are still young".

hiukei said...

Angel: thanks!!
long time no see!hmm...true!!
i will think about that~

hanying said...

I hope you've fully recovered!

I was reluctant to go start grad school when I applied and even when I was accepted. But I did anyway because besides wroking, it seemd like the only thing "I can do" at that time. And surprisingly it turned out much more rewarding than I thought. I, too, have to figure out what's after grad school, but it's part of life. I think I'll keep searching and wondering the same thing when I'm 40! :)

So I would say whatever you wish to do, try your best. If it doesn't work out, the alternative option might not be less exciting than you thought would be!

May forces be with you! :)

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